Important

Monday, January 29, 2018

5

In case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, these are all the words I wish I could say to you, but I know you would never listen

It hurts, though. Every time I think about how you will never love me. I've bent over backwards, and it's for nothing. It's for you jerk off too, and then I'm forgotten.

I don't forget you. I think about you. Some days not very much. Some days, all the time. I wonder where you are and what you are doing. I wonder if you are eating and sleeping well.

I wonder if you're with her.

It goes away. The thoughts go away, and the sadness. Then, something reminds me of you, and I am consumed.

I would do anything.

Of course I would, but the person I love most. But we've never met, how can anyone have those feelings.

Well, consider this. I love Keanu Reeves (not his movies, just him) but we've never met. We've never talked! I am as far separated from Keanu as one can possibly be.

But I would defend him. I would fight for his honor. I don't know Keanu Reeves but I know he is a person worth loving. Just as I know you are a person worth loving.

Why won't you tell me? Why won't you tell me what is wrong with, what is unloveable. I want to know. I won't change anything, because I am happy with who I am, big fucking mouth and all.

Do you know why I love you?

  • You're smart
  • You're talented
  • You can be funny, when you show me that side
  • You're loyal
  • You're dedicated
  • You're passionate
  • You're a good person
And I know all of these things from words. Just words. Still, I am not enough. You are busy, you say. Yet, this is the most low key situation you could have. Text is fine... but I want to hear your voice. I want to see you, your face, the expressions that you make.

I can't wait forever. God, I wish I could, but that can't happen. That isn't fair. 

All I want from you is time and love. That's it. Why are those the two things you refuse to give me?

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